People often ask me how I write, or what my writing process is like, and to fully answer these questions, I need to tell you a story about my ferrets.
I used to have two very mischievous ferrets (is there such a thing as a non-mischievous ferret? I’d wager not). One of them (the masked one) was named Bandit, which is a perfectly acceptable name for a ferret. Although, I’m fairly certain he thought his name was “Bandit, Stop That!” The other (the blonde) one’s name was Mister Tinker Bella Donna Noble (Has Left the Library), which is also a perfectly acceptable name for a ferret. These sneaky little fur demons ferrets figured out a way to work in tandem to carry out sophisticated, coordinated attacks.
Specifically, one ferret would go out of their way to get my attention with some silly, noisy antic while the other ferret was stealing my car keys, playing with matches, or sneaking up behind me to attack the back of my ankles.
They thought this was very hilarious. Me, not so much.
(Side note: getting bit by a ferret HURTS. Eventually, Mister Tinker Bella Donna Noble (Has Left The Building) learned that sneaking up behind someone and LICKING their ankles – especially if they’d been bit by Bells before – got them the same jumping squealing reaction as BITING them but without getting in trouble for it, so they started licking ankles instead. Which, improvement!)
It recently occurred to me that my writing style can best be described as a coordinated ferret sneak attack. And not just because on a *good* day, I often feel like three punch-drunk ferrets in a trench coat. I spend most of my writing waving my arms around frantically, yelling, “Look over here! Look over here!” so I can sneak up behind the reader and bite the back of their ankles. (Because face it, picking up a mystery/suspense/thriller is de facto consent for getting your ankles bit but no one expects to get the back of their ankles licked.)
So, my suggestion to you is whenever you’re reading a book – especially a murder mystery – is when somebody is trying to get you to pay attention to one thing, take a second and look around, just in case they’re distracting you from the real action.
And also, always wear thick socks, in case there’s a ferret sneaking up behind you, ready to bite the back of your ankle.
