Not really, but I got your attention, right?
The first thing people ask me when I tell them I am an agented author is, “Who are you and why are you randomly knocking on my door at three in the morning?” The second is, “How do you write an eye-catching query?”
As part of my ongoing migration to my new website, I’m featuring some of my most useful writer’s resources here. Please note, this content is compiled from multiple resources and is only intended as a handy guide, *not* the definitive source.
This is just *my* take on querying. Don’t take my word alone! Among other resources, please check out Janet Reid’s Query Shark, Amanda Woody‘s amazing Query Formula post, and Jessica Faust’s Query blog post. Seriously, read as many sample queries as you can before writing yours, then let all of your friends/beta readers/neighbors critique it.
You only get one chance to make a first impression
A query should be limited to about five paragraphs/200-300 words/~1 page. Two to three of those paragraphs are your opening, closing, and biographical information.
Dear Ms. __,
The first paragraph should contain:
- Why you selected them, and not just “because I saw your name somewhere.” Read their blog. Follow their Twitter. Get to know them and make sure that they’re even a good fit. You want the perfect agent for you and your book and your career!
- How what you wrote aligns with what they want (You can find this on their website, or by searching Twitter for #MSWL)
- Write your query so that it aligns with what they’re looking for. I’m not saying tell them it’s Historical Romance when it’s Sci-Fi because they’re looking for HR, but if your book has elements of both, emphasize the elements they are interested in. And for Dog’s sake, if they state they don’t represent Alien Romance and your book is Alien Romance, query elsewhere!!!
I follow you on Twitter/read an interview with you in Writer’s Digest and I was delighted when I saw that you were looking for (tongue in cheek/irreverent humor) with religious themes, and paranormal romance.
The next 2-3 paragraphs/150-200 words should contain:
- This is your book’s Pitch. This is the teaser/back cover of the book
- This isn’t a blow-by-blow (that’s a Synopsis)
- Introduce MC (main character), the overarching theme, what they have to overcome, and what obstacles are between them and their goal. What is the core struggle? What are the stakes? What is your MC’s motivation?
- It doesn’t have to be written *like* your book (if your book is 1st person past tense, you should still write the pitch in 3rd person present) but it should be written in your voice. If your book is dark and steamy, your pitch should not be pithy, etc.
- The first paragraph should be short, and should pack a punch. This is your “elevator speech.” If you had to describe your book in one single sentence, this is it.
For more pitchin’ love, check out Gareth L Powell‘s formula for the perfect Pitch!
Josephine doesn’t believe in God, until a late-night trip to the zoo brings her face-to-face with a gay demon named M’aala, thus launching a hilarious romp through the underworld that causes her to question everything she thought she knew about religion.
Hell shouldn’t be this funny. Neither should friendship. But Josephine finds that when she opens herself up to the unbelievable, anything can happen. Josephine has always struggled to find a place where she belongs in the world, but never could have guessed that she fits right into the underworld. After M’aala the gay demon tells her that someone is smuggling a new hallucinogenic drug out of hell with plans to release it in her hometown, Josephine has to stop them at all costs. When she finds out that one of the drug dealers topside is her sister’s scummy husband, she knows that this quest won’t be easy.
The drug smugglers have a much darker motivation than money – anyone who takes their drug forfeits their soul forever. Facing the possibility that the whole town is at risk, and the world beyond it if Josephine and M’aala fail, they must race against the clock to circumvent the drug dealers, reveal her brother-in-law for the scumbag that he is, and close the portal to hell before it’s too late. In the meantime, Lucifer is hot on their tails (in M’aala’s case, literally) and time is ticking. Can Josephine dodge villainous demons, sinister drug dealers, and damnation to help her fabulous new friend prevent a neverending nightmare from taking root?
The next paragraph should contain:
- Title – in all caps.
- Word count – be compliant with the standards
- Genre – know your genre
- Comps – this is how you show that you understand the market
DRUGS ARE HELL (LITERALLY) is a 75,000 word irreverent romp through the underworld in a paranormal adventure novel. It features a flamboyantly gay demon who is built like Arnold Schwarzenegger but dresses like Judy Garland, a devoted friendship, and a quick-witted, sharp-tongued heroine who isn’t afraid of anything – even the devil himself. A cross between GOOD OMENS and BEFORE I LET YOU GO, DRUGS ARE HELL (LITERALLY) will have readers laughing on the edge of their seats.
Final Paragraph(s)
- Bio – anything you’ve published, awards you’ve won, etc
- Anything personal relevant to the writing of the book (ie if you wrote a book about lesbians, it’s helpful to mention you’re a lesbian.) Don’t include how many cats/children/degrees you have unless it is relevant!
- For fiction authors, it’s not important to mention Twitter followers unless you have 100k or something crazy like that, but if you have a blog or Patreon or anything with a large following this is a good time to mention it. This is different for Non-Fiction but I know little to nothing about writing Non-Fiction.
- If you don’t have anything to add, mention you’re not published and leave it at that.
I was inspired to write DRUGS ARE HELL (LITERALLY) because of the opioid epidemic in my hometown which claimed the life of my childhood best friend. After twelve years of Catholic school, I am more than casually acquainted with hell, and also the religious concept of the underworld. I’ve never been commercially published, but my short story GAY DEMONS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM won the Ohio State story of the year award.
I always enjoy your witty/honest/brutal Twitter posts, and I wish to thank you for your time.
Sincerely, me and ALL MY CONTACT INFORMATION, including that beeper I still have from 1992.
Since some agents ask for a Synopsis in addition to a Query, please take a look at my blog post: HOW TO WRITE A SYNOPSIS.
And lastly, to file under “Things that should not need to be said…”
- Don’t talk down to the agent, or other agents (they talk to each other! They have coffee/drinks together! Telling an agent that Susan from X agency is a jerk will misfire. Always.)
- Don’t talk smack about your genre.
- Don’t complain, don’t whine, and don’t argue (replying to a rejection to tell the agent that they just missed out on the ‘next big thing’ will – at best – reinforce that they made the right decision.)
- Don’t talk down about yourself, but don’t be overly confident. Brag about your book without stating that you are the next <insert literary superstar of your choice here>.
- And most importantly, DON’T BE A JERK!
I’ve made some of these mistakes myself. Most notably, I was pitching a UF that was – in my head – the anti-UF. I was tired of seeing XYZ and so I wrote ABC and I thought that was a selling point. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t! The agents I queried represented a whole lot of XYZ. They loved XYZ. That was their bread and butter. I might as well have told them that their kitten was ugly. It could have been the best book in the world and the best query in the ‘verse, but no one wants to do business with someone who thinks their beloved kitten is hideous.
At the end of the day, you’re not addressing an industry. You’re addressing a person. A person with feelings and tastes (and possibly kittens). Maybe the industry has beaten you down, or you’re swimming in rejections, or you’re losing faith in yourself – but your query isn’t about past rejections. It’s about the hope that you will find an agent that believes in you and shares your vision for your book. And that agent is out there, waiting for your query!
#TheWriteLife #OliviaBlacke
